“The woman who does not require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet.” – Mohandesa Najumi
I spent most of my life being overly concerned with the thoughts and opinions of others. When I felt disapproval from someone I loved, I withdrew into myself, feeling confused, ashamed, and guilty. I desperately wanted love and approval, and felt I was letting others down by being me. What I have learned is that trying to please the world is the surest way to leave yourself feeling unhappy, unfulfilled, and inauthentic. Why should any woman feel guilty about being exactly who she is? Unless you are purposely causing harm to anyone, there is no reason to feel shame.
The decision to live exactly as you please without needing validation is the most terrifying and liberating decision you will make. At first, you may feel like a fraud. There will be moments where old thought patterns try to creep in and destroy your confidence and peace of mind. True change won’t come over night. Learning to recognize thoughts for that they are, simply thoughts, is the first step toward retraining your beautiful mind. Thoughts don’t have any power unless you choose to attach feelings to them. When you catch yourself attaching negative feelings to your thoughts, take a moment and really feel what that feels like. It feels pretty awful, right? Now, think of something about you that makes you feel incredibly confident, and bask in the feeling of your own radiance. This feeling is much more preferable, I presume. 😉
The moment you decide that you are enough, that you are beautiful, worthy, and perfectly imperfect, no one can make you feel otherwise. People may be intimidated by your new found confidence. They may even try to drag you down. Don’t you dare let them. A queen always knows her place is at the top. Others will only treat you badly if you allow them too. Once people see that you intend to reign rather than be ruled by their judgment and criticism, you have the power. Eventually, everyone will see that you intend to use your power for good – to spread your message of self-love and self-respect to other women. Soon, the same people who judged you may come to you for guidance. I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive them and help them to see that the light we are searching for lies within us all.